Having
just watched a piece on “Good Morning America” in which a reporter conversed with a
gorilla to demonstrate a major scientific breakthrough, I was primed for more
April Fool’s fun. So when the Harvard Business Review Daily Statistic
sent me an article purporting to be by scholars in Germany and the U.S., I
thought our collective legs were being pulled by that usually fairly humorless
institution. Here’s why. The breakdown of this 16-hour happiest day was:
106 Minutes a day of “intimate relations”
82 Socializing
78 Relaxing
75 Eating
73 Praying or meditating
68 Exercising
57 Talking on the phone
56 Shopping
55 TV
50 Preparing food
48 Computer
47 Housework
46 Napping
46 Caring for children
36 Work
33 Commuting
But if it’s a joke, Harvard either
created a fake web site for the renowned Elsevier publishers, or had them put
up a hoax dated February 13.
I can
happily accept the rough validity of some of these allocations: Socializing,
Eating, Praying, Exercising, and Napping all seem to me pretty much on target. But then it gets dicier. Who can spend 106 minutes a day in “intimate
relations”? As the old joke goes:
Preacher: Do you want to suffer in hell for an hour of
carnal pleasure?
Congregant: How do you make it last an hour?
I guess the reason you have to
spend 78 minutes relaxing and 46 napping because of the intimate relations,
since otherwise you have only about 5 hours of activities that you need to rest
from, (and over 4 like socializing and talking on the phone or watching TV,
that seem pretty relaxing). And who
wants to spend even 33 minutes commuting, or 47 in housework?
And what do the
academics mean by “Work”? On the one
hand, that isn’t enough work to buy most of us a computer, a TV, food, a couch
for napping, a bed for intimate relations, a means of commuting, or much else
for ourselves or the children. Without those things,
how many happy days would you have? On
the other, if you enjoy your work, is 36 minutes enough?
Of course, it’s hard to argue with
researchers who provide tables with “Comparison of 5 day schedules:
calculated schedules based on log, squared, and hedonic utility functions,
linear (assuming no utility decrease from activities), and actual schedule.” But that’s only because it’s hard to
understand them.
Aside from the specific quibbles,
there’s the whole “one size fits all” form.
At what age? Rich, retired, or
in the midst of a working life? What interests?
What aversions? What temperament?
And what about the missing categories?
My added categories would be Reading,
Listening to Music, Being in Nature. I
would enjoy the full complement of 6 to 7 hours a day interacting with others,
at least some of the time, but many would like much more alone time, some even
more interaction. (Of course many can be combined, like being in nature, exercising, and socializing.)
My suggestion: start with a new
category: My Favorite Activities. Allocate ideal time to them.
(Maybe 120 minutes reading, 30 just listening to music, and 90 in
nature, for me.) Then take the rest,
drop any that are simply necessities, and calculate your ideal day off. Then do a second plan for a work day,
calculating how long you’d like to work at the job you have now, and parcel out
the rest for what the church calls “ordinary days.” Finally, add a third: ultimate reward days,
that might include devoting almost all your waking hours to one activity, minus
the necessities like eating or, if necessary resting or napping. Maybe yours is a multi-day wilderness trip,
or a visit to a world-class city to drink wine, shop, and take in the sights,
or just a full day fishing, sailing, painting, or whatever. Then plan your year to allow you at least 100
days of time off and about 10-20 of ultimate reward.
Give it a
try and let me know what you find.
